Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Let's Read Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 17!

I'm not dead!  I'm in the last month of nursing school.  I haven't had much time or energy to write.  I'm utterly exhausted, a bit demoralized, and so, so close to a new chapter in my life.

I think I'm at the point I was at when I left Seattle--of looking at my life and thinking there's nothing at all wrong with it, except that I can't see this being my only life.  I want to reincarnate.  There's so much stuff out there to experience, and I have the freedom and opportunity to go out and experience some more, and I intend to.

I've been going through my grandfather's slides lately.  My grandmother died a few months ago, and I took the slides from her house.  My grandfather loved to travel, and I'm not sure I fully understood that until I started going through these slides.  There's wild leopards in them, and thousand-year-old synagogues, and million-year-old glaciers, and a stunning variety of things that look like penises.  Just pages and pages of rock penises and wood penises and gourd penises, interspersed with all the glories of the Earth.  I love my grandfather now more than ever.  I want to travel as widely as him, to live as fully as he did, and to see as many penises.

And so I'm going to leave Boston. I don't yet know when or for where.  I still love Rowdy dearly and the idea of leaving him breaks my heart--but I also know he doesn't want me to stay here just for him, and deep down neither do I.  I'll visit often and I'll email and I'll always love him.  But I may move away from him.

Anyway.  Wherever I go, Fifty Shades of Grey will still be with me.  Unfortunately.

Content warnings for this chapter: Stalking, mostly.  Physical and emotional abuse, although the physical is not quite so intense as in some other chapters.  And one sketchy-ass gynecologist.