Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?There's three main differences: consent, commitment, and clumsiness.
Which are all part of one main difference: in fantasy everything works out. That's what fantasy means. It may not work out for the best necessarily, but it works out in a way that's satisfying somehow to the fantasizer. Real life is full of randomness and accidents and disappointments and plot threads that never properly resolve. Fantasy is the realm where man plans and for once God plays along.
So in fantasy, it's okay to do things without consent, because you can be assured that either the person secretly likes it, they secretly like not liking it, or they don't like it but the author of the fantasy likes it just fine. Any time you assume consent in fantasy is fine, because you wouldn't be assuming it if the author didn't want you to. In reality, trying to guess which of someone's "no"s are secretly "yes"s is an excellent way to become a sex offender.
In fantasy, it's easy to make big commitments at the drop of a hat. Become someones 24/7 live-in servant who never wears clothes and is so high-protocol they can actually pronounce the capital letter in "Master"? Heck yeah! Never goes wrong! In reality... I don't want to say "it always goes wrong," but it requires a lot more thought about financial arrangements and family relationships and what if the servant needs a day off. And--importantly--how are you going to handle it if either partner decides they don't want to be in this arrangement anymore? It is possible to do BDSM full-time in real life, but you still have to deal with real life.
In fantasy, nobody ever falls on their ass, slips out of their ropes, or farts at a truly inopportune moment. In reality, oops.
Finally, one more difference that I didn't list above because it doesn't start with a "C": art design. Fantasy BDSM often comes with a lot of trappings, a lot of black leather or latex outfits and custom-built toys and lavishly equipped, literally underground dungeons. And everyone around is either a slinky sex kitten or a muscular sex... lion? Not sure how that works. Sex tiger, maybe. In reality, leather shit is expensive, lots of kinks can be done without any toys, and kinksters have roughly the same distribution of body types you'd see at your local bank office. We're a motley bunch of scruffy sex alley cats.